Wednesday, July 18, 2012
IT'S OKAY TO DO NOTHING??
I have spent years having to schedule, plan, map, plan and schedule almost all of my time. I was very disciplined with everything I was responsible for and there was literally no down time - well, that's not true I did sleep......a bit. I missed out on a lot and having so many commitments took a toll on my relationships all around - it was very challenging and I am super proud of myself and everybody involved, for making it through and for supporting me.
So what's my point and what does this have to do with anything? Well, after all these years of not being able to sit down unless it was to study or breastfeed, I am really struggling with days when I have nothing - or what seems like nothing to me - to do. Yes, keeping the house clean and the family fed and the blogs written and the business records up to date and working when I can and going to board meetings and visiting with friends when the kids aren't screaming at me, keep me pretty busy by conventional standards. But there are lulls that I simply can't handle. I try to sit down and I can't; within 30 seconds I'm up and fidgeting and looking for something to organize. I constantly feel like there is something I "should" be doing.
Living on a west coast island you need to learn to relax, to let go, to sit on the beach and DO NOTHING, but stare and breathe and stare some more. I need to remind myself of this constantly.
"Dear Self, it's okay to do nothing..stop that, put that down, you can do nothing!"
So if you are relocating to an island from the city or a fast passed job or lifestyle.....better take head of this warning or you could end up like me, a neurotic afraid-to-do-nothinger.
You have my official permission to do nothing, in fact please do a lot of nothing, and do some nothing for me.