40 BEFORE 40

The past five years has ushered in some extreme changes....in fact, things are still changing as I write this. And now it's happening. There is no stopping it. In just over five short months I will be turning the big 4-0.  To be honest....I have to admit that I'm not entirely cool with it. (please, please, anyone forty or over don't be offended, let me explain)

I know that forty is just a number and I don't, by a long shot, think that forty is old. I just think it's that I feel a bit like I'm playing this crazy, fierce game of catch up. While I look back on my life so far and think of the things that I have done...sailed, ate some very weird foods (including the world's second stinkiest food), owned a dirt bike, cut off all my hair, performed in small stage plays (including Shakespeare and one in my underpants with a Brooklyn accent), talked to Oprah, swam with stingrays, learned (sort of) to play the guitar, flown a plane, jumped out of a plane, kissed a fish, and had countless adventures with countless amazing people...it still feels like I missed something. Maybe because it's only now, over the past couple of years, that I have so freely tumbled back into my own existence and find that the things I'm currently doing are so singularly and joyfully just for my free soul. Not sure if that makes sense. And while I am excited for what's to come I am also admittedly terrified I'll let myself down. Terrified that I won't follow my passions or make stronger choices. That I won't ever really travel or push so hard for something that I might actually risk failing spectacularly. There's something about turning forty that feels like you're on the cusp of a  'make or break' time.  Like it's now or never. That if you're going to follow crazy dreams or cross shit off your list...you better pull your 90s, grunge, teenager ass out of yourself and get some shit done. I really, really want to. I want to so bad it hurts my brain bits.

Sooooo this leads me to this list that I've been working on; my 40 before 40 list.  I will admit, that because I recognize I only have five months to go, there is nothing too crazy on this list. And if you read some of the things I have done already, I'm also pretty okay with that. These are just things that, after some quiet reflection, I just decided I needed to do, and fast. That I need to put on some MMM-bop by Hanson (whatever eye rollers, it's a great song) or 500 miles by The Proclaimers (LITERALLY THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME) and kick the shit out of this list...in no particular order of course.

Here it is:

1) Go throw some axes or shoot some arrows
2) Go see a Shakespeare play live
3) Go watch roller derby
4) Take off and stay in some remote cabin or hotel or whatever for one or two nights alone
5) Go to a climbing wall..and you know..climb it
6) Write letters to the 5 most influential people in my life
7) Take a cooking class
8) Go do one of those float things
9) Listen to blues or jazz live
10) Go for a brewery tour
11) Check out a new part of the city or surrounding area  (thinking Kensington)
12) Get a good haircut
13) Take a road I've never driven
14) Volunteer somewhere new
15) Take a small course or seminar in something, anything
16) Have real, non selfie pictures taken
17) Get a massage (no I've never ever had one)
18) Buy new bedding
19) Learn to juggle or do a magic trick
20) Learn how to actually use my camera
21) Go to a football game
22) Ride in a helicopter
23) Hire a housecleaner, even just for one day
24) Learn how to bake bread
25) Try one of my gramma's recipes
26) Run a 5K
27) Attend an exhibition or art show I wouldn't normally
28) Work on either getting writing published or art shown
29) Sleep under the stars (I've done this, but I want to do this again)
30) Get a will done up
31) Complete 5 random acts of kindness in a single day
32) Purge/let go/get rid of shit/give stuff away....make space for the new
33) Go meatless for two full weeks
34) Watch a silent movie
35) Buy a grown up purse or bag (because you're not 13)
36) Build something out of wood
37) Watch five documentaries
38) Take a self defense course
39) Take an actual yoga class
40) Take a chance or do something that scares me

Okay. So there it is. I am going to do all these things before I turn 40 this year. I am open to suggestions and accepting applications for partners in crime for any of the above! Already have plans to knock off # 3 this weekend!

I will of course share my progress and hopefully not my lack of progress!

Wish me luck and share your ideas with me pretty please. xoxo


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